Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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