I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
