i would punch a child for taco bell
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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