i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
