Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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