Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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