brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
