Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
