Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
