I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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