did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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