At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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