i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
