ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
