I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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