if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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