Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Randomize
