I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
