please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
