I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
