You made me cry and you don't even care
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
