Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
