I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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