Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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