it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
