there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
