finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize
