I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
