doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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