A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
