After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
