i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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