We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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