I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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