We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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