Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
