God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
