This girl is more easily done than said...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
