Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
