Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
