well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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