Its about making memories worth repressing
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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