im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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