Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
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