I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
