lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
