My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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