The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
