"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
God, you're like boner-b-gone
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
