the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
