I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
