The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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