at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
