I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm sobbing to NWA
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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